Category Archives: Fun

FIVE DONT’S WHILE SLEEPING

FIVE DONT’S WHILE SLEEPING

Don’t’ Sleep with Watch

Watches can emit a certain level of radioactivity. Though small, but if you wear your watch to bed for a long time, it might have adverse effects on your health.

Don’t Sleep with Bra

Scientists in America have discovered those that wear bras for more than 12 hours have a higher risk of getting breast cancer. So go to bed without it.

Don’t Sleep with Phone

Putting the phone beside your bed or anywhere near you is not encouraged. Though some of us will use phones as alarm clocks, but please put the phone as far as possible. Scientists have proved that electrical items including mobile phone and television sets emit magnetic waves when used. These waves can cause disruptions to our nervous system. Therefore if you need to put your mobile phone near you, switch it off first.

Don’t Sleep with Make-Up

People who sleep with make up might have skin problems in the long run. Sleeping with make up will cause the skin to have difficulty in breathing and problem in perspiring. You will also need a much longer time to go into deep sleep.

Don’t Sleep with Other’s Wife

Coz you may never wake up again !!

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Funny Story …

True Story – Funny –

this is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US..!!!

A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some Basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton…

The instructor told Mori "Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say ‘how are you’. Then
Mr. Clinton should say," I’m fine, and you?" Now you should say ‘ me too‘. Afterwards we, translators, will do all the work for you."

It looks quite simple, but the truth is….When Mori met Clinton, he mistakenly said "Who Are You?" instead of "How are you". Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor: "Well, I’m Hilary’s husband, ha-ha…."   Then Mori replied "Me too, ha-ha.."

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room….

 

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What do you think?

A college class was told that they had to write a short story in as
few words as possible.  The instructions were that the short story had
to contain the following three things:

(1) Religion,
(2) Sexuality,
(3) Mystery.

Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class:

"Good God, I’m pregnant; I wonder who did it."

 

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Managers vs. Engineers

Three Engineers and three Managers are going to a conference and had to travel
by train to get there.  At the station, the three Managers bought their three
tickets and watched as the three Engineers bought only a single ticket. "How
are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asked a Manager. "Just
watch and you’ll see," answered an Engineer.
 

They all board the train and the Managers took their seats and watched as all
three Engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. The train
departed and shortly afterward, the conductor came around collecting tickets.
He knocked on the restroom door and said, "Ticket, please." The door opened
just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. The conductor took
it and moved on.

The Managers saw all this and agreed it is quite a clever idea. So after the
conference, the Managers decide to copy the Engineers on the return trip and
save some money (expense reports). When they got to the station, they bought a
single ticket for the return trip. But to their astonishment, the Engineers
didn’t buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a single ticket?" asked one Manager.
"Just watch and you’ll see," answered an Engineer.
They board the train. The three Managers cram into a restroom compartment and
the three Engineers cram into an another one nearby.

The train departed. Shortly afterward, one of the Engineers left his restroom,
walked over to the Managers stall, knocked on the door and said, "Ticket,
please."

 

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Peanuts

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway
When he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.  

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, why don’t you eat the peanuts yourself?".

"We can’t chew them because we’ve no teeth", she replied.

The puzzled driver asks,

"Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied,  

"We just love the chocolate around them."

 

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Two blondes

Two blondes were planning to rob a bank.
The first blonde had a tendancy to be smarter than the second.

They went over and over their plans for the robbery and finally they headed out to commit the crime. They pulled up in their car in front of the bank.

The first blonde says to the second blonde, “Are you SURE you understand the plan?”

“Yes!” replied the second blonde.

So the second blonde gets out of the passenger side of the car and heads into the bank.

Time passes, and after 10 minutes the second blonde has not returned. The first blonde gets very nervous.

Finally, out comes the second blonde from the bank dragging the safe behind her by a rope, and seconds behind her comes the guard with his pants down.

“No you idiot! I told you to blow the SAFE and tie-up the GUARD!”

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Amazing competition for unsigned bands with Live Sessions from MSN Spaces

so innocent

A three-year-old walked up to a pregnant lady while waiting with his mother in the doctor’s office.    He inquisitively asked the lady, "Why is your stomach so big?"

She replied, "I’m having a baby."     With big eyes, he asked, "Is the baby in your stomach?"

She answered, "He sure is."     Then the little boy, with a puzzled look, asked, "Is it a good baby?"

She said, "Oh, yes. It’s a real good baby."

With an even more surprised and shocked look he asked,

"Then why did you eat him?"

 

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A good wife!

A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband
that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. 
So
 the wife 
offered to donate some of her own skin.
However, the only skin on her body that the
 
doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.
The husband and wife agreed that they would tell
 no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the 
doctor also honor their secret.
After all, this was a very delicate matter.
After the surgery was completed, everyone was
 astounded at the man’s new face He looked more handsome than he ever had 
before!
All his friends and relatives just went on and 
on about his youthful beauty!
One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was
 overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, "Dear, I just want to 
thank you for everything you did for me. 
How can I possibly repay you?"
"My darling," she replied, "I get all the thanks
 I need every time I see your mother kiss you on the cheek.

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ONLY FOR GUYS!!

Really funny…
 
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
 
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog told her, "If you release

me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes."
 

The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get it ten times!"
 

The woman said, "That’s okay."


For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That’s okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she’s the most beautiful Woman in the world!
 
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That
will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That’s okay, because what’s mine is his and what’s his is mine."

 

So, KAZAM-she’s the richest woman in the world!

 

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I’d like a mild heart attack!"

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don’t mess with them
 
 
Attention female readers

: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good!
 
 
 Male readers: Please scroll down.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!

 Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they’re really smart!
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show!

 
 
 PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!! 
  
  
You can send this to all the guys for a good laugh, and to all the ladies who have a good sense of humour!

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Bad Old Man … HAHAHAHA

Old Man

An older, white haired man walked into a jewelry store one Friday
evening with a beautiful young gal at his side. He told the jeweler
he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring
and showed it to him. The old man said, "I don’t think you
understand, I want something very special."

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought
another ring over. "Here’s a stunning ring at only $40,000," the
jeweler said.

The young lady’s eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with
excitement. The old man seeing this said, "We’ll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated,
by cheque. " I know you need to make sure my cheque is good, so I’ll
write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and
I’ll pick the ring up Monday afternoon," he said.

Monday morning, a very teed-off jeweler phoned the old man.

"There’s no money in that account."

"I know", said the old man, "but can you imagine the weekend I had
with her?".

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